A Parent's Guide to Confident Children

Confidence! Say it loud, Confidence!

Even as adults(especially as parents), we can struggle with confidence. Am I doing enough as a parent? Are my mistakes hurting my kids? And on and on. But we don't want our kids to feel the same way. We want them to feel empowered, self-assured, confident in who they are and the choices they make. It is perhaps one of the most important qualities to build in our children and teens, but why and how can we help build them up.?

Let's start with the why.

1. Independence. A confident person is more willing to make their own decisions, take on responsibilities, solve their own problems. They don't feel an inability to take on life. They are truly independent and more importantly, capable human beings.

2. Social Skills. Confidence helps an individual feel comfortable expressing themselves. It becomes easier to find friends, create meaningful and healthy relationships, and navigate uncomfortable social situations. Teenage years are especially important because social connections play a major role in emotional well-being.

3. Positive Self-Esteem. When we believe in ourselves and our abilities, we develop a healthy self-image. Contentment and happiness often stem from how we feel about ourselves.

4. Resilience. Failures happen, but confidence helps us understand and navigate failure for what it is; a part of learning. Confident individuals feel less discouraged by mistakes and failure. We "bounce back" after a setback instead of shut down.

So, how can we help build confidence in our children and teens?

1. Responsibility. Give them responsibility appropriate for their age. if I do all the laundry, it may seem easier for me. I don't have to worry about someone messing it up and me having to come back to fix it. But what I'm really saying is, "I don't believe you can do laundry." When I give my children responsibilities, I allow them to feel believed in and capable.

2. Support what is important to them. Whether it's art, sports, music, or whatever, when we help them work toward their goals and passions, they build skills in what makes them feel good or content.

3. Help them fail. Failure leads to growth, but if we don't help them see that, they will only feel the let down. We need to give them opportunities to fail, therefore opportunities to get back up and learn what it's like to keep going.

4. Show them confidence. When we, as parents, face hardship and challenges, our children see our attitudes and how we handle it. Facing challenges with a positive and realistic attitude models your own belief in yourself. This helps them learn through examples.

5. Praise effort. It's easy to say, "good job" when our kids are successful. But encouraging and praising effort is probably more important than praising the outcome. The outcome is one moment. The build up is the hours of practice and feedback that get them their. Help them see the amount of effort they put in.

Confidence helps shape how they view themselves, how they interact with people, and how they handle the hard stuff in life. To build our children into capable human beings is partly our job. They are more likely to pursue goals, stand up for themselves, try new things, have meaningful relationships, and feel content in life. What more do we want for our children?